December 2010
4 posts
Cheaper Than a Cup of Joe: If I Were a Girl for... →
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
1. I’d punch myself in the boob just to see if it hurt as bad as getting kicked in the nuts.
2. I’d thoroughly massage my boob right after though… because it would be sore.
3. I’d finally buy that girls cardigan in XL that I really wanted from Forever 21, but was too embarrassed to buy as a guy….
September 2010
5 posts
Are You Too Ghetto for your Luxury Car??
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Do you use the heated seats to keep your Burger King drive thru warm?
Do you use the AC to cool down your Whopper, because you couldn’t wait to go home to eat it?
Or even worse, are you eating your Whopper in your car because… it is your home?
Do you only use cruise control when you need to retrieve the fries you dropped?
When you think you’ve retrieved that french...
This Car Has Never Been Rear-Ended...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Dude, can you pop the hood… I need to get something out of my trunk.
August 2010
5 posts
Cheaper Than a Cup of Joe: Asian Moms Never Throw... →
Empty Water Bottles - They make the perfect soy sauce dispensers! I’ve told my mom several times how dangerous it is to reuse those plastic bottles. She says, “Why, because of the stupid B of A (BPA)?” She doesn’t care.
Old Pens - There’s no such thing as a pen running out of ink (at least…
Celebrity Hotel Aliases...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie - Bruce and Jasmine Pilaf
Matt Damon - Matthew Paige
Kevin Costner- Frank Farmer
Mandy Moore - Cornish Gamehen
Tiger Woods - B. Simpson
Funny Celebrity Aliases:
George Clooney - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Pharrell Williams - Luke Skywalker
Kate Beckinsale - Siquorney Beaver
July 2010
3 posts
Text Messaging with my Asian Mom...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Mom: Where are you?
Me: At the gas station.
Mom: Can you get me some freebies?
Me: What?
Mom: The carpet is a stinky.
Me: Oh, you mean febreze?
Mom: Yes.
Me: Ok.
Mom: One more things. Do not put the 89 ok?
Me: Why do you always say that? I always put in the cheapest gas.
Mom: Better to be safe like Sally.
Me: HAHAHAHA! You mean it’s better to be safe than sorry?...
June 2010
22 posts
Reasons Why Men Have it Good...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
1. You can sit quietly next to your friend without thinking, “Is he mad at me?”
2. If another guy shows up at a party with the same outfit, you simply share a laugh, confirm that the shirts were from Target, and then go have a drink together.
3. You can write your name is snow.
4. You don’t have to deal with tough decisions like choosing between Team Edward or Team...
clientsfromhell:
Client: I know you creative guys sometimes need “inspiration.” I really want my project to go well so I will get you the kind of inspiration you need, OK? Free of charge.
[It was revealed later in the meeting that he was suggesting that he would supply our designers with marijuana.]
McDonald's Slightly Different Menu Around the...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
INDIA - The Maharaja Mac: It’s essential a Big Mac made of lamb (the Hindu people don’t eat beef).
GERMANY - Big McFeast: Looks like your typical combo meal… minus the BEER! I’m guessing the re-fills aren’t free.
CANADA - McLobster: The love child of Wienerschnitzel and Subway’s seafood sensation sandwich.
GREECE - Greek Mac: Beef patties wrapped in what else…...
Before They Were Rock Stars...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
He totally did a Blink 180…
From football player to cheer leader…
Should of stayed at Hogwarts…
Is that Lincoln Park from my math class??
The Rice Making Bra...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Finally, a bra that can make its own rice! What took so long??
The Japanese have done it again! Creating these recyclable bra pots that can be filled with soil and rice seedlings (the rice can be watered with the hose that doubles as a belt).
Weird? Yes… but you might as well grow something on a flat surface, right?
Lean on Me...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Aww… looks like the little boy is having a ball.
Why I love Craigslist
clientsfromhell:
Hi. I own some websites. I have ads on these websites. I need some quality clickers to click the links on these websites (ads). I am looking for people to click 1 hour, 3 times, for one week. Then I will determine if I want to repeat what I just said. For doing this gig the compensation will be a coffee or tea or soda at Starbucks or Pete’s coffee and $10 dollars. I will be...
Ending on a High Note...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
First meal ever is the same as the last… how poetic.
Cheaper Than a Cup of Joe: Watching It's... →
Mom: I like to watch a male strip.
Me: What?? (pause) Oh, Meryl Streep… yeah, she’s a good actress.
Mom: And I lick a bald one too.
Me: (long pause) I lick a bald… Alec Baldwin, gotcha!
(Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin are about to have sex in the movie)
Mom: Where you going?
Me:…
Cheaper Than a Cup of Joe: 5 Signs You're Finally... →
1. You stop connecting, and making sense out of every song on the radio (Not Afraid by Eminem is not a song about moving on from a breakup… I think).
2. You stopped wondering if those doctors in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind actually exist or not.
3. You stop acting like a…
The Mean Asian Step-Dad...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Asian Step-Dad: No, you take a picture over dare! Don’t move, don’t smile… take off pants.
Celebrity Math...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
May 2010
33 posts
Things that only happen in Cartoons...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
1. Your thumb inflates and starts blinking red every time you slam it with a hammer.
2. Little birds circle your head every time a PIANO falls on top of you.
3. If you run off a cliff without knowing, you won’t fall until you realize you’ve actually gone off a cliff.
4. If someone is about to shoot you, just stick your finger in the barrel of the gun (the gun will blow...
Japanese make a Funny...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Totally inaccurate… where are the donuts??
Wrong Answer?
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
That’s a woman? Looks like David Spade’s twin brother…
Clever Tip Jar...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Nemo money!
